Seduction is like the crack cocaine of dating.
The thrill of meeting a girl and seducing her from the restaurant to the bedroom is like no other. And in this article I’ll show you exactly how to seduce a girl back to your place so you get your junky fix.
But first things first, a few words on seduction…
Seducing a girl is like dancing the Tango. It’s an emotional and sensual dance with inconspicuous movements. So if you want to pull off the dance successfully, you have to be subtle with your advances on the women you seduce.
Because the moment you’re too obvious with your seduction – you’re too forceful or lunge in for the kiss too early – a girl’s defensive guard will go up and she’ll reject your eager ass.
So never rush things. The longer the seductive dance goes on, the better.
The art of the seduction is all about playing with the emotions – building tension, lust and desire whilst holding a bit of restraint and mystery to keep a girl coming back for more.
How well you pull off the seduction depends on the situation, what type of girl you’re dealing with, and how well you can read the attraction cues she throws your way.
So to kick things off, let’s jump straight into the five core principles needed to become a good seducer. Then later, I’ll give you my step-by-step method on how to seduce a girl from a first date straight back to your place!
How to Seduce a Girl – The 5 Core principles
1. Self confidence
Girls want a guy who knows what he wants and goes after it. Someone who’s willing to risk rejection in the face of adversity and take the lead, sexually.
You can’t pull off a successful seduction by being tentative and shy. If you’re insecure or act hesitant making the move, it will be a total buzz kill for the girl involved!
It’s down to you as a man to confidently take the lead of the situation and escalate things sexually with zero fucks of it going wrong.
If you seem confident and in control of the situation, it will help the girl feel comfortable and receptive to your advances. Self confidence ensures the seduction is a smooth, enjoyable experience for her. Something she can get lost in the moment doing.
VIDEO: If you want to discover the quickest way to seduce a girl back to your place using dating apps, watch this:
(it’s the best way to master seduction fast)
Is self confidence is an issue for you? Pay close attention to the attraction cues women give off. Wait until you’re 100% sure a girl is into you before making a move. This way you can be confident she won’t reject you…
2. Dress to impress
As obvious as it sounds – take care of your appearance. You’ll get way more attention from girls.
The same goes for grooming. Take care of how you look and present yourself, as this subconsciously communicates to a girl that you’re in control of your life and take pride in your appearance. A nice cologne also goes a long way. Seduction is a sensual experience, so ensuring you smell good will only increase your chances of seducing a woman successfully.
Plus, women tend to care a lot about what other people think of them. So you can understand why a girl wouldn’t feel all that comfortable in front of her friends if she’s being seduced by an unkempt guy with a pubey looking beard.
3. Show your desire
There is nothing a girl finds more sexy than being sexually desired and wanted by a guy. You HAVE to be a man, show you have a pair of balls (metaphorically speaking) and express your sexual intent.
Because you only have a finite window of opportunity to make the move before falling victim to the dreaded friend zone. So show your desire – whether that’s verbally or physically. Here’s some examples of how you can exactly do that:
- Eye fuck her and stare at her lips
- Go in for the kiss after the first date
- After building rapport with a girl you just met in a bar, whisper in her ear “I’m picturing you naked in my head and it’s turning me on” etc etc.
Girls are often insecure about their looks, even the super hot ones! So if you can compliment how beautiful and sexy she is, whether that’s verbally or non verbally, she’ll feel amazing about herself. And with this, she’ll grow less shy and awkward in the interaction and begin to unleash her sexual side too 😉
4. Positive body language
Body language plays a big part in the seduction. 55% of communication is done through body language alone, so pay close attention to strange hand movements you unleash when seducing a girl.
Positive body language goes hand in hand with self confidence. By opening up your body, you’ll appear confident. Just like Maverick in Top Gun:
Here are a few tips on sub-communicating self confidence through your body language:
- Open your legs wide to manspreading levels.
- Avoid crossing your arms or legs or rolling in your shoulders
- Hold solid eye contact, and give a girl your full attention i.e. face your body towards her.
- When standing, keep your legs wide apart and your shoulders back. And for the ultimate look – slightly thrust out your crutch to assume alpha male position!
- When holding a drink – don’t hold it across your body. Hold it out in front of you. And if you suffer from awkward hand syndrome, rest your hands on your hips like a wild west cowboy preparing for a duel. This will keep em’ out of harms way.
These simple little body language pointers will help you sub-communicate self confidence, and keep a girl engaged in the interaction.
5. Read her cues
The ability to read a girl’s cues of interest is an essential skill to learn for how to seduce a woman. It’s the bridge that gaps the divide between the rapport building phase of an interaction with physical touch.
The more socially aware you are, the better. Because if you can sense whether or not a girl is into you – verbally and non verbally, you can quickly decide whether to pursue with physical touch, or rather, exit the interaction and move on to the next girl.
The art of reading a woman’s attraction cues takes practice. The more face to face interactions you accumulate, the more you’ll start to notice the little idiosyncrasies girls throw your way as indicators of interest. And with this, you can escalate your seductions faster. Because if you’re confident a girl likes you, you can be damn sure she’ll be ok with you initiating touch and going in for the kiss.
VIDEO: If you want to discover a powerful technique to get your Tinder matches back to your place, watch this:
A successful seducer can pick up on the most subtle of cues to begin escalating with physical touch. The more practise you get, the quicker you can pick up on these cues and the quicker you can start seducing girls. Sometimes within minutes or even seconds of meeting them.
So now that you’ve discovered the five core principles needed to seduce a girl, let’s look at my step-by-step guide on how to seduce a girl back to your place!
Whether you apply these steps to a first date or on a girl you meet at a nightclub, they’ll work as a one size fits all basis.
How to Seduce a Girl into Bed – The Steps of Seduction
1. Create the right mood and ambience
Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Creating the right mood for a romantic, seductive night is just as important as what you say and do on the date.
Before meeting a girl, be presumptuous – set up your bedroom / apartment as if you’re expecting company later.
Your apartment should appeal to the senses. Start by cleaning your place so it’s no longer fit for cattle livestock – get rid of bad odours and chuck out any pizza boxes hiding the carpet from clear view.
You want to create a pleasant environment in which a girl can feel comfortable in. Have scented candles and a seductive playlist on Spotify at the ready. Stock the fridge with wine and snacks and decorate your place with a few conversation pieces – ornaments or books conveniently lying around.
Same goes for planning the first date. If you want to give yourself the best chance of getting laid, choose a date location which sets the right mood. Don’t take her to a footy game or the cinema. Pick venues with dimmed lighting, non-deafening music, and strategic seating arrangements for getting intimate. Restaurants and bars are the best go to’s for seduction.
2. Choose date venues located close to your place.
Most guys are clueless when it comes to logistics. It’s an extremely overlooked part of the seduction. You should pick first date venues strategically located close to your home (if practically possible).
Why? Because it makes a girl’s decision to say YES to going home with you at the end of the date far FAR easier if your place is only located a short cab drive away, or better, within walking distance.
Seduction is all about being swept up in the moment. It’s spell binding. You want a girl to act on impulse whilst she’s enjoying the present.
If the logistics of taking a girl back to your place are nightmarish – your apartment is 1+ hour drive or 10 subway stops away, it’ll be much harder to convince a girl to go home with you. Her logical brain will kick in telling her it’s inconvenient and a bad idea. And when this happens, the spell is broken. You’ll be left with blue balls and a long cab journey home alone.
When I used to live in London, I had the same first date routine for every girl I dated. I bounced girls to three different bars in Angel, North London, all of which were strategically located within 10 minutes walking distance of my apartment. So you can imagine, telling a girl I lived “just across the road” made it an easy sell to persuade her to come back home with me.
If you’re fortunate enough to have bars and restaurants close by, why stray any further? It will only limit your chances of getting laid. So get your logistics in order and it will make the transition from date venue back to your place as smooth as silk to allow the seductive dance to go on 😉
3. Give her your full attention.
Whether on the first date or meeting a girl in a nightclub, you want to give a girl your full attention. Hold solid eye contact to ensure you keep her engaged in the interaction. Too little eye contact and you risk breaking the seductive spell. Or worse, getting caught out like this guy:
4. Make her laugh.
Humour is undoubtably the best method of seduction. Make her smile or laugh and you’ll unleash all kinds of pleasure chemicals into her brain. The kind of stuff that’ll rmake her feel comfortable around you, attentive to your every word, and turned on by you.
If you can make a girl laugh, you’ll eliminate any tension and nerves associated with being on a date. Seduction is about making a girl feel comfortable. If she’s tense and anxious, you’ll struggle to get her opening up to you – both verbally and sexually.
Jokes, banter, and self deprecated humour will help warm her into the interaction, ensure she has a good time, and fast track the connection between you both.
Humour is an essential part of building a connection and rapport with a girl. Two essential ingredients needed before you’re ready to turn things physical.
5. Listen to her.
Good listening skills help ensure the conversation is flowing and free from awkward pauses of silence.
Being a good listener will help you to quickly form a deep connection with a girl. If you listen attentively, you can avoid surface-level conversations by thinking up witty replies or emotional retorts that help escalate the conversation deeper. And with this, you’ll start to develop great chemistry together.
So pay close attention to her, and use what she says as material to continue the conversation.
If you don’t listen, you’ll make way for long awkward pauses or massive digresses in the conversation which detriment your ability to form a solid connection.
Bad listening skills can often form a stumbling block preventing you from escalating your seductions any further than a plutonic conversation. Because if a girl doesn’t feel a connection between you, she’s unlikely to engage in any physical touch you initiate. So listen carefully!
6. Read her body language, and cues to gauge whether she’s interested.
Whilst you’re seducing a girl, always be vigilant for cues of interest that she’s into you. Right from the very first meet and greet. It’s down to you to gauge her interest to know when is the appropriate time to start initiating touch.
Never doubt yourself. It’s better to be presumptuous and assume a girl is into you. That way you won’t second guess the situation and miss the boat to escalate the seduction, physically.
Here are a few indicators of interest to look out for:
- She laughs at your jokes, no matter how lame and unfunny they are.
- Light playful touching – e.g. she hits your arm after bantering with her.
- Hair tossing / fiddling whilst holding eye contact with you
- Positive body language – she’s facing towards you – her shoulders are open and her legs are crossed pointing in your direction.
- She holds solid eye contact (gazes at you) and smiles a lot.
- She’s interested in what you say, asks a lot of questions, and generally makes an effort in the conversation.
Once you’re damn sure a girl is interested in you, it’s time to break the touch barrier!
Watch this video if you struggle to turn things sexual on dating apps:
7. Initiate physical touch.
Strategically plan your seduction so you’re always within arms reach of the girl. Never sit opposite a girl you’re trying to seduce. It’s impossible to escalate the seduction if theres a physical barrier like a table in the way of you both.
If you’re in a restaurant – sit 90 degrees to her. And if you’re in a bar / nightclub setting – sit side by side. This way you can get intimate without having to obstacle assault course your way across the dinner table to give her a kiss.
Escalate physical touch slowly. It’s all about pacing yourself. Be subtle and non forceful when you do it. Remember how to seduce a girl is like dancing the Tango. So don’t lunge in for the kiss straight off the blocks!
Start by making light touches to her shoulders and upper back. These are the least offensive parts of a girl’s body to touch.
The seduction is all about one step forward, two steps back. Make short soft touches to slowly build the comfort in a push-pull like pattern to keep her wanting more.
Each time you go in for a touch, test her reaction. If she shrugs away and her body language turns defensive, she’s probably not into it. Or, you simply haven’t built enough rapport for her to feel comfortable engaging in touch yet. If so, take two steps back until the time is right to start initiating touch again.
However if she’s receptive to being touched, you’re now ready to escalate things towards the first kiss.
Now start focusing on touching her erogenous zones. These are the areas which stimulate sexual desire – her neck, ears, lower back, and inner thighs.
This is where things turn a bit steamy… So try to hold a bit of restraint and not be too full on in public. Make a judgement call depending on the location. You can get away with being more handsy in a nightclub, but anywhere else – try and keep the touching light and not overtly sexual.
A lot of people don’t like PDA. So respect the situation and the girl you’re seducing. It’s better to be subtle and leave something to the imagination.
Once you initiate touch in the erogenous areas, she’ll start to expect the kiss. And more importantly she’ll be in the right mood for the kiss.
So again, test her reaction to you touching, rubbing and caressing her erogenous zones. If positive – you’re ready to go in for the kiss.
Dip in and out of touching her erogenous zones whilst talking to her. Keep her guessing, get up close, and build the sexual tension to the point where she’s dying for you to kiss her!
Because the longer you prolong the kiss, and the more heightened the sexual tension is between you both, the more climatic and satisfying the kiss will be.
8. Go in for the first kiss
At this point, she’s expecting you to kiss her. The best way to pull off the first kiss is to flirt with the idea of kissing her.
There are hundreds of ways to go in for the kiss, I could write a whole post on it! But here are four methods that work incredibly well. Let’s assume by this point you’re sitting up close and intimate to the girl. i.e. within firing range of the kiss so to speak:
1. Concentrate on directing your eye contact towards her lips in a triangular like motion. Look at her lips then up to her left eye and then her right. Repeat this movement between her eyes and lips again and again until she’s spellbound by the idea of kissing you.
2. Tell her she’s got amazing lips, and what you specifically like about them. She’ll in turn start focusing her attention on your lips too. Then the idea of kissing you is all she’s thinking about. Proceed accordingly 😉
3. Prefer using words? Tease her by telling her “I’m totally going to kiss you in a second. You’ve been warned”. With this, you can test her reaction (to the idea of you kissing her) – if positive – she smiles, giggles, says “oh yeah…” or gives you more positive body language, then go for it.
4. Whilst making conversation, start slowing your speech and use deep tonalities in your voice pitch. Slow your speech so much it appears like your brain is struggling to function because all you’re thinking about is kissing her. “I…..just….want…” etc. etc. then lean in for the kiss.
9. Invite her back to your place.
After kissing her, it’s time to make a judgment call. You need to decide whether the setting and vibe is right to invite her back to your place.
Friday or Saturday nights are almost a green light with the right girl – she’s unlikely to have work the next day if she’s a 9-5 chick.
With more experience you’ll be able to determine the kind of girl who’d likely say YES to coming home with you. If she’s a good girl, or appears a little frigid, then it’s a bad idea to invite her home. With these girls, it’s better to play out the seductive dance longer and arrange another date. Especially if you want to make her your girlfriend in the long run.
Whatever the case may be, always respect her decision. All girls are different. If she’s not ready, then respect her decision if she doesn’t want to come home with you.
However if you DO feel like it’s on, and you sense she’s up for it, here are a few tips on how to get her back to your place in the smoothest way possible.
1. Tell her “I know a really cool place close by with amazing wine”. When really, the cool place close by with amazing wine is in fact, just your house…
Sometimes, simply saying “home” or “my place” is enough to send alarm signals to a girl that sex is implied.
Her anti slut defence will kick in. She might really want to go home with you, but if you word it in such a way that makes it sound literal. i.e. the act of going home with you = sex, it makes it sound bad in her head. As if she’s slutty for saying “Yes”.
So instead try and phrase the invite without mentioning buzz words like “my place” or “back to mine”. You don’t want her to think saying “Yes” to going home with you is a contractual agreement to have sex with you. Even though it will evidently most likely happen anyway.
Basically, you want to phrase it in a way that sounds like you just want to ‘continue the night somewhere else’. To enjoy each others company that bit longer. This way, she can feel happy coming home with you.
2. Another great method is to sell the idea of coming back to your place. Make it hard for her to say “No”.
Highlight the best features of your place. It could be the incredible view of the city from your balcony, the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in your freezer, your cute puppy who would love to say Hello, or the vintage French wine chilling in your fridge.
Make her excited about the idea of continuing the date at your place. Give her a good reason, without sex being implied, and she’ll likely come home with you.
10. Continue seducing her back at your place.
Continue where you left off. Pour her a glass of wine, put on your seductive Spotify playlist and light some candles.
Start initiating physical touch again, focus on her erogenous zones and slowly work your way up to kissing her again. If you’ve done everything right so far, chances are you’ll end up waking up next to each other the following morning 😉
Remember to have fun with it. The seduction is best played out over a long period of time. The longer you can tease her and build sexual tension, the more fun you’ll have with it and the more satisfying the sex will be.
VIDEO: If you want to turn your dates into sex, then use this cheat code to learn exactly what you need to do:
11. Let the seductive dance continue.
The act of seducing a girl never ends after sex. The dance has only just begun!
Too many guys make this fatal mistake. They think “Once I’ve had sex, the girl is mine”. So they get comfortable and end up showing all their cards. And unfortunately when this happens, girls get bored and start looking elsewhere…
The secret to keeping a girl is to always have some mystery about you. Never give yourself up fully. Pull back a little, and you’ll keep her wanting more. Again and again….and again.
I hope you’ve enjoyed my mammoth guide on how to seduce a girl! If you put my step-by-step method into action you’ll start to notice your monthly expenditure on candles will total more than your rent payments.