Why Hasn’t She Text Back? A Guide to Texting Women [Infographic]

You’ve got her number. Now what?

Phone game has made dating a three-part process.

So guys, listen up, because you’ve got to get better at texting women.

Our survey of 100 single women found that 89% want to be contacted within 48 hours and a hot babe will lose interest in you if you don’t text her within 2 days.

The results also revealed what male texting habits make women flake on the first date and women’s favourite first date locations based on age group.

SEE ALSO: 21 Shocking Mistakes Men Make When Texting Girls

Take a look at the infographic below to see more results from the survey.


Is she not texting back?

If this infographic has inspired you to improve your texting skills, don’t miss our article on How to Text a Girl You Like (Without Her Losing Interest).

So here’s our take on the texting metrics from the infographic

Let’s begin by recapping women’s favourite methods for first contact:

73% – Text
19% – Phone call
6% – Facebook
2% – IM App

Since 73% prefer a text to start things off, as a golden rule we recommend you always just ask for her phone number unless she suggests otherwise.

Sure, some girls prefer Facebook, and there’s never any sure fire way of knowing what she likes best, but don’t lay the options on the table and ask her to choose because you’ll sound needy and insecure.

Be decisive and go for the number.

First Texts

When we look at how long it takes men to first get in touch and when women want men to get in touch, the results are surprisingly similar:

How Long When men first get in touch When women like men to first get in touch
Same night 16% 13%
Next day 49% 46%
2 days 14% 30%
3 days 10% 6%
4 days + 11% 5%


Because 89% of women said they prefer to be contacted within 48 hours and only 6% think the 3 day rule is cool, I’m sure you can guess what we’re going to say next…

Text her on the same night or the next day. Don’t make her wait. Just do it already!

Women will lose interest in you after:

5 days if you don’t contact her
2 days if she’s a hot babe

You’re probably wondering how the hell we distinguished the hot babes from our survey?

Good question.

We did this by cross tabulating the results to put the girls who go out more and have more men pursuing them under the microscope. In a nutshell the hot babes:

  • Have more men currently pursuing them
  • Are approached by more guys on a night out
  • Reject guys more often

NOTE: if you’re sick of getting rejected all the time, we strongly recommend you read our Stealth Attraction Review. This video course by Richard La Ruina will teach you rejection proof ways to approach and seduce girls.

First Date Flakiness

Wasn’t it exciting to discover the main reasons women flake on the first date?

We were not surprised that 60% of women flake on the first date because of needy texts from men.

Neediness is the ultimate attraction killer. We shared a bunch of examples in our post: 21 mistakes men make texting girls, but here’s a few bite sized examples of what needy behavior looks like when you’re texting women:

  • Replying back instantly every time
  • Texting constant updates on your day
  • Sending text monologues
  • Too much flattery
  • Sending texts that seek validation

Here’s a reminder of the main habits that make women flake on the first date:

60% – Desperate & Needy
44% – Talking Dirty
24% – Reveal Jealous Traits
24% – Not Funny Anymore
10% – Try to Fix the Date Too Soon

One of the above 5 deserves a special mention because it’s something countless guys are jealous of and really gives the lads a bad name:

Revealing Jealous Traits – guilt tripping her for not texting you back, cancelling a date or being jealous about her partying with male friends are all classic examples.

You must never, ever, EVER go down the jealous route. Guilt tripping a girl you don’t even know is both wrong and uncalled for, plus women will run a mile if they spot the first signs of a jealous man.

For advice on how to prevent a girl from flaking the date, Rami from Gutsy Geek shared 6 awesome tips on how to prevent flakes here.

The First Date

We LOVE the fact that Aquarium / Zoo made the top 5 first date activities:

#1 Coffee
#2 Dinner
#3 Drinks at a Bar
#4 Aquarium / Zoo
#5 Cinema

When I lived in Beijing, taking girls to the zoo was always my favourite date activity and they loved it too! The part that went down the best was seeing the pandas and the dolphin show 😉

After you spend a day out at the zoo, followed by a meal, girls will feel like they’ve known you forever, plus the animals give you so much to talk about you’ll never be stuck for conversation.

When we cross tabulated each age group we discovered women’s top first date activities (other than eating and drinking):

18-21: Cinema
22-25: Aquarium / Zoo
26-28: Bowling

I recommend you combine one of the above with drinks or a meal afterwards. That way you’ll have plenty to talk about over drinks/dinner and it’ll give her the perfect day out.

Is it important to kiss on the first date?

We asked this question because there’s a common belief among men that if you don’t kiss her on the first date you’ll blow your chances of her being interested in a second date and will fall into the dreaded friend zone.

Well guess what? Apparently it’s not important at all, so don’t feel deflated if you weren’t able to pull the trigger because 95% say it’s not important to kiss on the first date.

Is she not texting back?


If you want to turn more digits into dates don’t miss our article all about how to text girls. That article is a treasure trove of case studies and templates you can use to turn more digits into dates and relationships.

This infographic was a lot of fun to put together and we hope you’ve learned a great deal from it.

If you love it as much as we do, make sure you share it to give your friends the facts and stats about texting they’ve been dying to know.

Oh, and if you’re craving more dates in your life, you’ll need to start putting in the ground work to get more numbers. Check out our interview with 32 dating coaches if you want to learn how to pick up girls in various different situations.

What questions would you like us to ask in our next survey about texting women? Post your suggestions in the comments below!


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  1. Hey Rich,
    Great article & great website
    We are friends with Tom Simpson in Guangzhou China & he sent through the site to a bunch of us out here
    Great stuff,keep up the awesome work
    I read”The Game” & not only is it a pick up chick guide it also helps physiologically & personal development….so I think your website is going to do some amazing things & sure it is already
    Tom Sanderson

    • Hey Tom glad you liked the infographic and thanks for your comments about the site! I must thank Mr Simpson for giving you the heads up about it 🙂

      The Game is indeed an excellent read and very useful for many other aspects of personal development. I’m a big fan too!

      Hope you enjoy the site and expect plenty of fun in the coming weeks!

  2. amy Robinson says

    Hey Guys

    Your website is very cool.

    Just wondering where you conduct your surveys?

    I’m doing some study on relationships in Australia and would love some info like this on Australian boys and girls.

    • Hey Amy, we’re glad you like our site 🙂

      We made the survey using Survey Monkey and sent it out to a mixture of friends and also used Survey Monkey’s paid audience option to get more participants. This is great for choosing the particular demographic you want the survey sent to, e.g. Australian girls between the ages of 19 to 25 etc.

      If you’re targeting single people and use the paid audience feature, I recommend you ask if they’re single or not at the beginning of the survey to make sure you don’t get any wild card results.

      Hope that helps and best of luck with your survey in Australia!

  3. This is great stuff!

    I would only publish stuff like this (okay on occasion the other things) and make it your homepage. Tons of people would subscribe just for this info.

  4. WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by searching for texting women

  5. I find all these informations very useful.. I see the potential.. Wow, if I don’t pick up at least thrice as more chicks, then I have dishonored what I just read..

  6. Hey Rick your website is awesome i learn a lot from this..i always use “The Cutie Eyes” tactic..if i see a girl with beatiful eyes i ask her this;”I want to make a serious question” her:”What?” me:”Why do you have so beatiful eyes?” and she laughs a lot and she gives me a answer then i take her numer but i have a problem i dont know how to make “Dates” i”d never date a woman in my life so that i dont text her in a long time the numbers are just there in my phone :/
    PD;The Invictus fragrance rocks lml

  7. surethingmatey says

    I am surprised at the 44% figure for flaking due to talking dirty! I find the number 1 way I get women to go out with me is talking dirty. Of course I don’t go extreme explicit – I like to just use puns, etc… My favourite is to take something she says and spin it sexually. Constantly teasing her like that she’ll agree to a date virtually every time. Unless she’s really hot, but even then I find it works more often than not.


  1. […] Pickup Metrics surveyed 100 single women in the US to discover what men are doing wrong when texting women to fix a date. This infographic reveals when women want to be texted, how much male competition you’ll likely be up against and most shockingly, what male texting habits make women flake the first date. […]

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