Sexting A Girl: 14 Shameful Mistakes Guys Make

Sexting a girl feature image

A lot of guys fail to appreciate how crucial sexting a girl is

Just like you can’t make an omelette without eggs, you can’t expect to get laid and keep a relationship alive without sexting.

It’s unavoidable.

Yet, most men consider sexting to be dangerous territory…

…when really, it should be something you embrace.

The thrill you get from escalating with a girl, turning her on, and getting her excited to meet up with you, makes sexting a lot of fun.

But, chances are, it’s the one thing standing in your way of setting up multiple “Netflix and Chill” dates with the girl you’re texting.

So listen up, because if you want to discover how to sext her the right way, then first you need to witness the wrong way!

Because your sexts will never get her horny to meet up if you repeatedly make any one of these 14 mistakes…

Read on to discover the 14 shameful mistakes men make when sexting a girl.

And keep your eyes peeled, as I’ll give you tons of example texts to get her horny and gagging to meet up with you.

Mistake #1: Going Straight for the Kill

Sexting a girl escalating too quick

Going straight for the kill is a ballsy move, but it rarely works unless you’ve built solid rapport and banter with the girl you’re sexting.

The problem is, when a girl sends a naughty text it’s often hard to stop yourself from entering horny overdrive.

It’s easy to throw the rules of texting out the window and get caught up in the moment.

Whatever you do, don’t think with your dick!

If you escalate too quick, you risk scaring her off, just like in this text:

Sexting a girl text fail

Instead, try to assess the situation:

  • If you think she’s a prude – slowly build the tempo
  • If you haven’t had sex with her yet – don’t be too graphic
  • If you’ve already had sex, and she’s naughty in the bedroom, you have more freedom to be X rated with your sexting.

Don’t beat yourself up too much if you think you’re often guilty of “going straight for the kill”.

It’s better to be overly sexual than not be sexual at all – I’ll discuss this more later.

Just try and learn to tame the beast a little.

Is she sexting but not meeting up?

#2 The Nude Nagger

Sexting a girl send nudes

Despite what the law of reciprocity states, sometimes a kind favour cannot be repaid.

If you spend hours holding “Arnie-like” muscular positions in the mirror whilst groaning like Chewbacca to create the perfect naughty photoshoot, don’t think this automatically grants you a free pass to receive nudes in return.

Some girls are just not comfortable sharing intimate pics of themselves over the internet.

If you hound her with persistent hints and gentle reminders, you’ll come across super needy and annoying.

Like a fine wine, all good things take time. Play the waiting game and allow her to become more comfortable sexting you.

Then it’s only a matter of time before you start receiving the good stuff unsolicited.

#3 The Dick Pic Spammer

Contrary to popular belief, women are not massively interested in phallic related photography. I know… shock horror right?

Men are visual creatures. So it’s understandable to think women get turned on by imagery in the same way us guys do with bums and boobs.

But actually it’s quite the opposite. When sexting a girl, it’s the words you write and the fantasies you create that get her turned on.

So maybe think twice about sending an artsy shot of your member with the latest instagram filter. #sorrynotsorry

#4 Mr Unimaginative

Sexting example unimaginative

Don’t squeeze your sext into one stand alone 50 character message. You’ll take all the fun away.

Sexting a girl the right way is like writing a novel. Your sexts should tell a story – slowly build, be full of suspense, and end on cliffhangers.

You want your texts to build sexual tension, conjure up exciting plot lines, and throw in twists to leave her horny and wanting more.

How good you are at sexting is basically defined by your story telling abilities.

You need to create vivid fantasies in her head, with you, the main character, fucking her.

#5 Revealing Your Dark Side

sexting fail revealing your dark side

Unless you’re extremely comfortable with the girl you’re sexting, and/or this girl happens to be the darkest, most deviant little minx you’ve ever come across…avoid mentioning any strange fetishes you wish to play out.

If a girl sends you dirty messages, don’t take this as your cue to text her in a way you would with a sex line worker employed by Babestation!

Refrain from discussing any strange fetishes like urination or feet sucking until you’re truly comfortable with her.

#6 The Mood Killer

When you start sexting a girl, don’t get carried away and think you’re starring in a porno.

Sexting isn’t some kind of battle to determine who’s the more X-Rated texter. Any money shot talk of “jizzing over a girl’s face” should be avoided!

Same goes for potty talk. You’re hardly going to turn a girl on by informing her of your daily shitting rituals, or how the Indian curry you just devoured is causing you to experience gale force winds in the nether regions.

Keep your sexts somewhat tasteful and defecation free.

Is she sexting but then flaking

#7 One Trick Pony

A specific scenario might work really well for you, but don’t overuse it.

The 50 Shades of Grey sadomasochism theme is popular for sexting role play, but often gets overplayed.

Don’t get me wrong, most women LOVE the dominant and submissive role play of 50 shades:

sexting example 50 shades

But try mixing it up and experimenting with other themes when you sext her.

Let your imagination run wild.

Talk about fucking her on a NASA expedition to the moon, or how you’d like to go down on her in the back of a Land Rover Defender watched on by hungry hyenas in the African bush.

#8 Motor Mouth

When in story mode, it’s easy to get carried away and forget sexting is a two-way conversation.

Next time you play out an erotic scenario with the girl you’re sexting, make sure to check in once in a while to see if she’s still responsive before rattling off Act 2 Scene 1 of your depraved fantasy 😉

Create pauses in your storytelling to build suspense. With this, you’ll get her begging you to finish describing what naughty things you have planned for her.

It’s also fun to occasionally leave a girl high and dry with your sexts. Like your favourite TV soap series, use cliff hangers to keep her coming back for more.

#9 Being Childish

sexting fail being childish

Sexting is basically a looking glass into what you’re like in bed. It’s another step in the screening process for girls to determine if you’re a worthy suitor.

So you can imagine why joking around with sexting is a terrible mistake. It just shows you’re not ready for the big league.

Theres a time and a place for goofing around. If you’re seducing a girl into bed, would you suddenly chuck on a clown costume and start telling jokes?

Obviously not!

Same applies with sexting. You’re trying to turn her on, not make her laugh.

If you’re immature about sexting, all you’re doing is subtly communicating you’re not ready for sex.


  • Change the subject when she tries to get sexual
  • Send tons of emojis and lol’s at the end of your sexts
  • Deliberately take the literal meaning rather than the implied meaning of her sexts – E.g. she asks for a hot photo, and you reply by sending a picture of fire.

#10 Sexting on a Different Wavelength

If you haven’t built a strong enough connection with the girl, you might struggle to click when it comes to talking dirty.

For example, this text is brilliant to send to a fellow Game of Thrones (GOT) fan:

“You make me harder than Valyrian Steel”

But if you’ve failed to establish whether she tunes into HBO on Sunday nights, this text will be about as useless as Samwell Tarly is with a sword. (Another GOT reference for you).

Sending obscure references and analogies in your sexts will only confuse her.

So avoid any geeky topics like Star Wars, Minecraft, and League of Legends unless you know she’s a big fan.

Here’s a generic reference any girl will get:

sexting sexual innuendo

#11 Mr Clueless

sexting example clueless

As crazy as it seems, a lot of guys are totally oblivious to the fact a girl is trying to sext them.

Women love to sext. Probably more than we do.

So the longer you spend making idle chit chat and not getting sexual, the less interested she’ll be to reply.

When a girl wants to start talking dirty, here’s what she might text you:

(Apologies in advance if these examples seem obvious, but you’d be amazed how many guys fail to pick up on these cues!)

“Just got out the shower… what should I wear?”
“I’m in bed bored…”
“What are you wearing?”
“I had an interesting dream about you last night…”
“gosh I wish I could help with that throbbing headache… if only there was some kind of release…”
“it’s too cold in bed on my own ☹”

Is she sexting but not meeting up?

#12 Half-Assing it

If you’re sexting a girl, never hold back. It’s better to go all-in, balls to the wall, than to tread lightly and play it safe.

Remember, sexting is a looking glass into what a girl imagines you’re like in bed.

She’s looking for you to lead and be comfortable with expressing your naughty side.

So don’t text her like a Disney Prince would text his fair maiden.

Text her like a man who goes after what he wants and doesn’t stop at anything until he gets it:

Sexting a girl like a man

But I understand this can be easier said than done….

It can be awkward at first, especially if you’re new to sexting, or the girl you’re sexting is the “Vicar’s daughter” type who’s a little prudish.

Getting comfortable with talking the right language takes time. Especially writing “cock”, “boobs” and “pussy” in your texts.

If that’s the case, start experimenting with subtle sexual innuendos and evocative language to slowly warm into it.

Tell her you’re hot and sweaty from your gym work out and about to take a shower

Or text her saying “it’s a shame I didn’t bump into you last night.”

Bump being the operative word.

Then see if she takes the bait and plays along.

If she complies, this is your cue to start escalating your sexts – start by being more obvious with your sexual references:

Sexting a girl obvious reference

Then progress onto fantasy story telling, experimenting with more explicit language, and pushing for a meet up.

You’ll be fixing up a Netflix and Chill date in no time 😉

#13 Sexting with No End Goal

No matter how good you are at sexting, if you don’t actually push for meet ups and ask the girl out, she’ll eventually get bored.

The whole point of sexting is to get a girl uncontrollably horny and gagging to meet up with you!

And with this, there is no better time to ask her out.

If your texts turn her on, she’s going to say “YES!” to meeting up with you. Every. Damn. Time.

Because she’ll be dying to put all those dirty fantasies you’ve talked about into reality:

sexting a girl to get a meet up

It really is that easy to transition a fantasy into a meet up.

sexting a girl fantasy

Let’s say you’re role-playing about fucking a girl on a camping trip… Simply ask if she’s got a tent. Or say “Lets organise a trip to the countryside, I know the perfect spot…”.

Or say she suggestively complains about being cold in bed, text her saying:

“I’d like to audition for the role of big spoon…how about Thursday night?”

#14 Playing Safe and NOT Sexting

NOT sexting a girl is quite possibly the worst mistake you can make.

And most guys are guilty of this.

Here are 3 common reasons why you might decide AGAINST sexting a girl you like:

  1. You think she’s too innocent, or too much of a nice girl to want to receive dirty texts from you
  2. The girl you’re texting is your dream girl, you want to make her your girlfriend, so would hate to risk messing it up by sexting her and scaring her off
  3. You worry that if you sext her, she’ll think you just want to jump in her pants. You don’t want to treat her like a piece of meat

Whatever the reason is, there is usually no excuse for not sexting her.

Sexting is an integral part of dating and relationships.

It’s the spark that ignites your texting interactions. Without it, your relationships will either fizzle out or land you in the friend zone.

Wrapping it up

The first step is understanding where you might have gone wrong.

If you’ve made any one of these 14 mistakes then you have some work to do if you want to get the girl you’re sexting out on a date and into your bedroom.

But as long as you take the leap of faith and actually start sexting her, then you’re already going to be half way there.

Sexting a girl is about having fun, so bring out your naughty side and enjoy the ride 😉

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  1. Marcus Neo says

    Hi Ed, definitely agree with what you say about: going straight for the kill is a ballsy move, but it rarely works unless you’ve built solid rapport and banter with the girl you’re sexting.

    I fucked this up multiple times when I was starting out.

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