Want to know how to approach girls? Forget arming yourself with one-liners. If you convey the wrong body language, you’ll blow it before you can even say, “Hi”.
Women are far more perceptive than men and can read our signals like it’s a sixth sense. So how can you master the art of approach? What better way to learn than see how NOT to do it?
We reveal 8 types of people who EPICALLY FAIL at approaching women. If you fall into one or two of these categories, fear not! because we’ll share exactly how to master your body language at the end of the post.
1. The Stalker
You can look, but you cannot stare… Making eye contact with a girl is your perfect cue to walk on over and initiate chat. Failure to act will put you at risk of being branded a stalker.
The stalker has a habit of creepy staring episodes – even when the girl clocks the stalker making persistent glances her way, this will not deter him from continuing his creepy ways.
The stalker is also guilty of following his target around like a sheep, he will wait for the opportune moment to approach (most likely when she separates from the group) only to get her running a mile at the sight of him close up.
2. The Tightrope Walker
For a dramatic entrance the tightrope walker favours the direct path to his target.
En route he fends off all obstacles in his path. Although heroic, the tightrope walker is making a rookie error – approaching a girl head on is a threatening move and a sure-fire way to raise her defensive guard. Being the risk taker he is, the tightrope walker knows little about comfort building – a key ingredient for attraction.
The tightrope walker should take a lesson from the crab. It’s all about straffing.
3. The Drunken
We all need a bit of Dutch courage to settle the nerves, but there is a fine line when it comes to drinking alcohol – once you’ve crossed it, that’s it, game over!
The drunken majestically stumbles over to his target in a zombie like fashion. Once facing the girl (making it this far is quite a feat in itself), the drunken has a slurry way with words, often making repetitive conversation, much to the annoyance of his target.
Forget girls, the only birds this guy will be getting is fried chicken on his way home.
4. The Space Invader
Getting ‘all up in my grill’ is slang for invading someone’s personal space. Don’t ever be on the receiving end of this phrase! A woman’s comfort zone should be respected.
The space invader does a great job of freaking girls out, even more so if he chooses the wrong location to tap a girl on the shoulder (a typical space invader move).
The only thing worse than a space invader is a space invader with bad breath. If you fall into this category, chewing gum will be your new best friend.
5. The Pigeon
The pigeon respects personal space with his body but his head is all up in her grill.
When approaching girls, the pigeon loves a good lean in. But unfortunately for the pigeon, this bird-like lean, AKA ‘pecking’ is a low value move that screams neediness to the girl. It should be the girl who fights for the man’s attention, not the other way around.
The pigeon fails to grasp this concept and as a result ends up being treated like vermin.
6. The Procrastinator
“I just need one more drink…”
We have all made lame excuses to prevent or delay approaching girls. The procrastinator will do anything in his power to avoid the feat at hand.
When the procrastinator spots a girl he likes, he will not immediately act on it, rather, he will seek refuge by way of ‘faffing’ before finally plucking up the courage to approach. On approach he realises the girl has either:
a) Left the premises, or,
b) Is in the arms of another man.
Missing opportunities is what the procrastinator does best. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
7. The Pervert
Quite possibly the worst of a bad bunch, the pervert puts on a cringe display by showing way too much sexual interest.
Words are so out of fashion when the pervert spots a girl he likes. He prefers to introduce himself by way of ass pinching, has a tendency to lick his lips, and can’t help himself but stare at her boobs.
Being friend-zoned is the least of the pervert’s worries. He grows accustomed to the mandatory slap in the face as a punishment for his seedy ways.
8. The Disco Dancer
For some of us, working our moves on the dance floor is a great way to woo women because limited chat is needed. Unfortunately though, not all of us have the Dirty Dancing moves under our belt.
The disco dancer cuts shapes to all your classic dance moves: Michael Jackson, the robot, and twerking to name a few. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t get too much appreciation, instead, crowd dispersion.
So those are the 8 types of people who will NEVER be successful at approaching women. Think the pervert is the worst? – read this article to prevent falling into his wicked ways.
To avoid being branded as one of the unfortunate 8, we share some useful tips to help you win at approaching girls.
Still skeptical about learning pickup? Read this post about what holds guys back from learning to settle any qualms you might have.
The 3-Second Rule
When spotting a girl you like, approach her within 3 seconds. Just count in your head 1, 2, 3 and go for it.
Giving yourself just 3 seconds will stop you over thinking the approach and will prevent the build up of nerves (associated with approach anxiety) taking over your body. Take any longer to approach and you might blow it, or worse end up creeping her out like the stalker.
If you approach directly like the tightrope walker, you will appear too confrontational and risk ‘stirring up resistance that will never be lowered’ Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction.
If you approach indirectly, you will be come across unthreatening and your intentions to seduce will go unnoticed. The art of a good approach is to make the girl comfortable in your company.
To best explain this concept, what better animal is there to learn from than the crocodile?
To successfully hunt his prey, the crocodile lurks in the shallow depths of the watering hole. Slowly he approaches, patiently waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. If he made his approach direct and obvious with all teeth on display, the crocodile would soon die of starvation.
Although it’s probably not best to eat your target, I’m sure you get the idea…
How can you approach indirectly? The best way is to approach at a 45-degree angle so the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Be a crocodile, approach slowly, but don’t ambush her! Make sure not to directly face her with your body, instead, talk over your shoulder. Let her work for your attention.
Body rocking is the opposite of pecking. Rather than showing neediness like the pigeon, body rocking gives off the impression that you are disinterest and carefree, almost like you are about to leave the conversation. It is a great way of disarming any resistance in your target.
So how does body rocking work?
On approach, appear like you’re doing a drive by. By that I mean approach indirectly, talk over your shoulder and look as though you’re about to walk on past.
The art of body rocking is to appear to dip in and out of conversation with your body. Get the girl to fight for your attention. Once earned, she will be facing your way. This is your cue to reciprocate. Stop body rocking and face her. Let the attraction stage commence!
Try combining the art of body rocking with a false time constraint like “I can only stay here for a minute, I’ve got to get back to my friends” as this is a sure-fire way not to get rejected.
Approaching girls is fun. But whatever you do, don’t be one of the unfortunate 8. Pretty please.
Is approach anxiety a major problem for you? For further reading we recommend checking out our review of Stealth Attraction. It’s a great product to overcome your fears of rejection.
For a bit of fun, find out why we give the cuttlefish a gold medal for his approaching skills in the wild.
Right so thats approach wrapped up. The next step is attraction. Want to learn from the best? – Read How to Attract Women Like Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love.
Do you think there are any other classic approaching types we’ve missed off the list?