Decoding encrypted texts from girls is kind of like studying for exams in college: the material you know never seems to be on the test.
Luckily for you though, I wrote the test. Because I’m a girl, and I know exactly how females think and know all the subtleties in the way we text guys to show interest.
So I am prepared to give you the only crash course you will ever need so that you too will know how to tell if a girl likes you over text.
Knowing if a girl is interested in you is tough enough, and texting can make it seem all the more challenging.
But rest assured that while most interactions with persons of the opposite sex can be confusing, the following 9 signs over texts is a good indication that she’s into you!
1. She initiates conversation
Whether it’s by initiation or by re-initiation, if she is trying to get your attention or keep it, you are in business!
This initiation might be obvious like a “Hey, what’s up :)” but it also might be more subtle, like “did you start the research methods assignment?”.
While these types can indicate two very different stances, she is trying to get your attention. In both cases she is showing her desire to hear from you, or her desire to ensure she’s on your radar.
While initiation is important, i don’t think people give enough credit to “re-initiation”.
The initiation shows an active calculation to text you, where she has weighed the pros and cons of that decision (i.e. sounding too desperate, deciding to text someone else instead, etc.).
The re-initiation, however, is totally unconscious. Instead of choosing to politely leave the conversation at its natural end point, this girl is breathing more life into the conversation because she is enjoying the interaction.
So even if you aren’t getting those “heyy whats up” messages, if her replies add to the conversation instead of ending the conversation, it’s not yet game over for you.
2. She texts you often… and a lot
Whether she texts you when she’s bored or texts you when she’s busy, she is still making the decision to spend her time in conversation with you.
Note that the long texts, the multiple texts, the random texts, the consistent texts are all different ways of showing that you have made it (or at least past the first post). Keep it up!
With all the distractions she can chose from (Instagram, Netflix, TikTok, etc.) she is choosing to be distracted by you!
Which means she likes your attention. Even if you are one of many guys texting her right now. You are at least leagues above of those still tirelessly responding to her stories, hoping to get called up for their shot.
3. Her texts are informative
Maybe she updates you throughout her day, or maybe she tells you stories about her friends. Maybe she talks to you about her plans, or her interests. Or maybe she confides in you about things that occupy her mind. Two very important things are going on here:
a) She is building rapport with you. She wants to build a connection.
b) She is giving you coveted information for you to impress her with later
She is giving you a tiny window into her life and what it is like to know her. And she is also giving you the key to information that can be useful to you in the future.
I am not saying keep a note pad. Actually, I am actively telling you to NOT keep a notepad. These are things that you’ll just remember because I’ve told you it matters.
*PRO TIP: if you aren’t quite here yet, there are ways to build connection or rather to bridge a connection to this point. For example:
If, when texting her how her day was, she says “great, i went for coffee with an old friend”, rather than replying with something like “what did you get?”, instead, text her something like “mmm I take you for an iced latte kind of girl”.
Whether you are right or completely wrong, you run the chance of:
(1) actually getting her coffee order correct
(2) her curious about what impression she’s made that would lead you to that conclusion
(3) her desire to prove you wrong if it was something totally wrong (i.e., you guess oat milk frappe no sweetener, and she’s a black coffee kind of gal).
4. She replies immediately and puts thought into her messages
This is a great sign for how to tell if a girl likes you over text. Whatever the content of the message may be, if her texts are timely and thoughtful this means she has committed her attention to you and she is stimulated by the conversation you have to offer. Huge props to you, bro.
I hate to say it but like any other game worth playing, the dating game is a competition. If she is quickly texting you back, that means she isn’t texting someone else back with the same intensity. You, sir, are first chair. Use it wisely.
5. She sends you flirty/cutesy messages (or messages loaded with emojis)
Naturally, this is the jackpot when it comes to texting girls. Regardless of the type of girl you are texting (maybe she’s the sweet girl next door, or maybe the quick witted quirky girl), texts that appear to have been sent by a bot, or an uninterested girl are often just that. I promise you, if you are getting “okii’” instead of “ok/sure” or “aww” instead of “haha thx”, she’s into you.
6. She texts with enthusiasm
While this heading could fall under the flirty/ cutesy heading, I felt the need to add context to enthusiasm that might be slightly outside of the cutesy, heart eye type of stuff you might see in other articles.
Anything capitalized is great, anything with a laugh is good and any type of emphasis key. For example:
- Capitalized texts: “omg SHUT UP” , “lol STOP”,
- Texts with a laugh: “ hahaha amazing”, “i cant believe that LOL”
- Texts with emphasis : “no way!” , “urghhh”.
If she texts you like this, she is taking the time to communicate that she is invested into the conversation. She wants you to get a sense of her personality, her tone, her vibe through her messages. She’s also active in assuring that you don’t perceive her as cold/dull/boring (which means she cares what you think!).
7. She sends you memes / gifs
If she is sending you memes, it’s because she is thinking about you outside of your immediate conversation. It means that you have managed to keep her attention even in times when you aren’t actively trying to.
Whether you guys have inside jokes together, or she sends you something titled captioned “you” or “me”, she is either showing what she thinks about you, or testing to see what you think about her. Here’s an example:
8. She sends you personalized pics
If she’s sending you pictures of herself, her outfit, her dog, her work station, etc. She is into you! Think about it… you are either one of the few with private access to these pictures, or these pictures were specifically taken with you in mind, either to start a conversation, continue a conversation… or to separate herself from the pack of girls she thinks you are texting.
Pay close attention to these pictures because often there are hints or clues that she is hoping you’ll pick up on (ex. What song she is listening to, her favourite hangouts, what she’s reading, etc.).
8. She seems interested in meeting up
Before you hit me with “well… duh”, hear me out. There are different ways of “seeming interest” that you might have missed. And these slightly diverging indications can mean totally different things and may require different responses, so it’s important that you recognise the pattern and govern yourself accordingly.
If a girl is asking you about your weekend plans, she may be doing a couple of things:
(1) seeing if you are an interesting person who gets up to fun stuff
(2) seeing if you are seeing other girls
(3) seeing if you are interested in her and / or bold enough to ask her out.
It’s quite possible all three of these things are carefully packaged into one “what are your plans this weekend?” text.. or a “what you up to tonight?” message.
These types of questions are sometimes loaded and sometimes not. But ultimately, the way you respond will shape how her interests develops.
Regardless of whether you find yourself in pattern 1, 2, or 3, the fact that she is curious enough to wonder these things about you means you’ve done something right (even if simply by dumb luck).
9. She’s sending you subtle cues via Instagram
This last point on how to tell if a girl likes you over text covers 5 different subtleties you can notice via your Instagram interactions with her.
There are specifics about the wonderful world of Instagram that allow girls you might not be texting regularly to communicate their interest in you. So check below to see 5 ways to tell if a girl likes you through instagram.
1. She responds to your story.
Of course responding to your story is more obvious and more time consuming that reacting to it, both types of engagements shows that she doesn’t find you loathsome and maybe even someone interesting.
Use these reactions as springboards to thrust you into a conversation and ask her a question over text to kick things off. She may be too shy to start one on her own / she may think it seems desperate, but this indication of interest is her way of inviting you to make the “official” first move.
2. She posts stories of herself relating to your interests.
Whether she posts a story of herself with friends at a pub you were at the other day, or watching the ravens game with her dad (knowing that you either hate or love them), these are both indications that she’s paying attention to you, or invitations to explore this “common interest” of yours together.
Women are obvious and subtle creatures so try to pick the subtleties out of the obvious to get a sense of where her head is at.
3. She avoids the templates.
We all know of the “prompted” or “suggested templates” → 💯, 🔥, 😍, etc. I like to think of these as generic friendly prompts because it is a generic friendly robot who is telling you how and when to use them and all you have to do is accept the advice of the kind helpful robot friend. While i wont deny that these are still good signs, they aren’t as obvious as unique, non prompted reactions. I’ll explain…
If instead of responding 😍, she responds, 👀, or if instead of reacting 😂, she sends 🙄, you surely can tell that she’s trying to tease you or distinguish her reaction from that of others in order to set her apart.
Simply put, she wants you to know that SHE took the time to react, not the robot. And that if SHE took the time, its because she’s paying attention to you… i know … the “subtle obviousness” of female communication gives me a headache too.
And obviously, if she replies with a unique worded message, even better. She’s definitely keen.
4. She comments on your pictures
While i think it is becoming increasingly rare that people comment on pictures of those outside their immediate friend group, there is an increasing trend of rerouting those comments into DMs.
Maybe she senses competition from other girls who liked your post and she wants to let the other girls know to back off…
If she comments publicly on your picture or comments via your DMs, this is just like her reacting to a story. Take it as a clear sign she’s interested and wants to start a conversation.
5. She likes your old posts
The classic “hey, I’m checking you out and i want you to know about it”. Yes, I know. If she did this you probably wouldn’t be on this page and you’d be deep in her DMs by now. This is a pretty obvious sign for how to tell if a girl likes you over text.
But take this as a reminder to make sure that you have pictures on your profile! Give her something to work with.
How to tell if a girl likes you over text?
Girls will never make it obvious so you have to spot the subtleties in the way she texts you. Things like how quickly she replies and how invested she seems in the conversation. If she shares memes, gifs, makes inside jokes, and asks lots of questions – these are all good signs she likes you.
How to tell is she’s not interested over text?
If a woman takes hours to respond and makes little to no effort with the conversation, she might not be interested. For example if she sends short, abrupt texts and doesn’t ask any questions, then she’s unlikely to be into you. Another sign she’s not interested is if she never shares memes on Instagram or never asks what your weekend plans are.
How to tell if a girl likes you over text: Conclusion
OK so that’s a wrap! You now have nine tell tale signs to look out for in your messages with this girl. Oh and five from Instagram too 😉
Hopefully you have enough evidence now to determine whether she’s into you and keen for a date.
And always keep an eye out for these nine points on how to tell if a girl likes you over text when you message her. This way you can assess her level of interest to know when is the perfect time to ask her out 🙂