Sick of your conversations with women drying up?
It’s vital you know exactly how to talk to women if you’re looking to convert conversations into telephone numbers.
We present to you the crème de la crème of the World’s best Pickup Artists and Female Dating Experts on hand to share the do’s and don’ts of talking to women like nothing you’ve seen before.
If you want to direct your conversations with women to ‘destination attraction’, this awesome infographic will put you in the fast lane. It summarises the results from our two amazing group interviews:
You’ll discover the mistakes countless men make when talking to women, learn the secrets to building attraction in conversation, and see how the experts’ advice matches up!
Take a look at the infographic below to start learning from the professionals.
If you want to become a Master of Attraction, check out my Review of The Tao of Badass – a step-by-step system for attracting the ladies.
So here’s our take on the attraction metrics from the infographic
Lets start by recapping what the female dating experts say are the top 3 biggest attraction killers:
- Not holding eye contact
- Too much sexual intent
- Bragging and talking too much
A special mention must go to the two above tied in 3rd place – bragging and talking too much.
Bragging – most guys think that women will be queuing up for their attention if they mention the size of their bank account. Wrong! Bragging about how much money you have and what car is parked in your driveway is a BIG turn off for women. Don’t try and impress her, instead, work on making a connection.
Talking too much – this is usually down to both nerves and an attempt to avoid awkward silences. Trust me, talking too much is no fail-safe method to avoid rejection! A one-way conversation will never win you over the girl. Keep the conversation two-ways and balanced.
Biggest Attraction Killers
We found out that 47% of the female dating experts say men who fail to hold eye contact is a BIG attraction killer.
So guys, if you start talking to a girl in a bar, try and imagine her to be the only person in the room.
Here is a reminder of all the biggest attraction killers men are guilty of making when talking to women. Make sure to avoid these like the plague:
1. Not holding eye contact
2. Too much sexual intent
3. Bragging and talking too much
4. Risky topics. i.e. ex girlfriends, sex and politics
5. Being too drunk
6. Bad hygiene
7. Being over eager
8. Not being present. i.e. not enjoying the moment
So those are the attraction killers, what about the builders?
If you want to successfully steer the conversation towards getting her number, you need to take note of the following.
The top attraction builders as voted by the Female Dating Experts:
1. Listen to her
2. Hold eye contact
3. Be present in the moment
4. Compliment her
5. Build a connection
6. Ask questions
We weren’t surprised to see ‘Listen to her’ achieve the number 1 spot. As simple as it sounds, if you listen, the conversation is going to be engaging. You can bring up new conversation material based on what she says, rather than worrying about what to say next.
Lets use an example to make this clearer:
You ask a woman, “Where are you from?”
She replies, “Dublin, Ireland”
Rather than saying, “Oh cool, I’m from London”, work on getting more out of her.
Instead reply with “So I take it you’re a big Guinness drinking fan?”
Feed off what she says to provide new conversation material.
It was good to see ‘Be present in the moment’ hit the number 3 spot. Being present involves being a good listener, holding eye contact, and making the conversation engaging.
When talking to a girl, don’t interrupt her or worry about what you are going to say next. Rather, stay in the present and enjoy the moment. Then she will enjoy the moment too.
But what do the Pickup Artists Suggest?
The top 3 ways Pickup Artists suggest men BUILD attraction in a conversation:
1. Be fun and don’t focus on the outcome
2. Hold solid eye contact
3. Make a connection
Interestingly, and I think you’ll agree, the Pickup Artists are pretty similar in their advice on how to talk to women as the Female Dating Experts are!
It seems that holding solid eye contact is a must to build attraction through conversation.
So guys, no wondering eyes and please don’t go looking at the floor whilst you’re speaking! A woman can tell a lot about a man’s confidence from his eyes alone.
And worse, if she catches you peeking at other women mid conversation, you’re destined for rejection.
Hitting the number 1 spot was ‘Be fun and don’t focus on the outcome’. This is very interesting. I often worry too much about number or kiss closing and forget to be present in the interaction. This can blow your chances with the girl.
Don’t be outcome orientated. Yes it’s good to have an end goal, but don’t let that end goal cloud your brain. Be engaging and concentrate on the present. Then the outcome will take care of itself.
Now to compare the advice from the experts…
Female Dating Experts Vs. Pickup Artists
For this we have hand picked some of the finest quotes from the two group interviews! Still haven’t heard what the experts have to say?
To improve your interactions with women, the most important points to remember are:
• Hold eye contact
• Listen to her
• Be present and in the moment. Don’t focus on the outcome
• Don’t talk too much
• Quit bragging
• Be fun
• Make a connection
So starting from the top, what do the experts have to say?
Hold eye contact
“Your goal is to make a connection through eye contact and uninterrupted conversation. Anything else feels disingenuous.”
– Stephany Alexander, Female Dating Expert
“Intense eye contact will make you appear more dominant which will then make her feel more feminine around you.”
– Tripp, Pickup Artist
Listen to her
“The number 1 way a man can build attraction is to LISTEN – to ask a woman questions and be sincerely interested in her answers.”
– Ellen T. White, Female Dating Expert
“Listen to what the girl says. This will give you all the material you need to keep the conversation going.”
– Johnny Berba, Pickup Artist
Be present and in the moment. Don’t focus on the outcome
“All he has to do is pay attention and compliment the girl. Pretend she is the only one in the room.”
– Lisa Clampitt, Female Dating Expert
“Be present and actually engaged in the exchange. Don’t interrupt or worry so much about the next thing you are going to say, that you don’t hear her. Speak, ask, listen and repeat.”
– Cija Black, Female Dating Expert
“Go into the approach just excited to get to know this woman and be present in the interaction.”
– Tripp, Pickup Artist
“Embrace your inner masculinity and becoming comfortable with saying what is truly on your mind Vs. what you think you should be saying.”
– Dylan Thrasher, Pickup Artist
Don’t talk too much
“Talking too much is usually due not to self-absorption, but to nervousness or a desire to impress. Remember you want to connect with her, not ‘impress’ her.”
– Christie Hartman, Female Dating Expert
“Pauses and silences are actually good if you are comfortable with it and don’t rush to fill them… Remember, if she likes you on some level, she won’t make it difficult – she’ll help you along.”
– Steve Jabba, Pickup Artist
“By bragging rather than impressing her, (which is likely your intent), you’ll come across as an egocentric narcissist, who lacks the ability to be sensitive, communicative, supportive, and loving.”
– Julie Ferman, Female Dating Expert
“Relax and don’t try and impress her. It’s going to feel artificial and lame. That means no stories where you try to show how cool you are, no bragging, no trying to talk yourself up. ‘The lion doesn’t need to roar.’”
– DJ Fuji, Pickup Artist
“Don’t bring up risky topics, these include exes, sex, politics, or anything else ‘serious’. Such topics can scare people away easily if brought up to soon.”
– Christie Hartman, Female Dating Expert
“Think how can I have the most fun with this conversation? Fun is what I call ‘the ultimate currency’. We always choose to be around the person we have most fun with. So figure out how you can be THAT GUY.”
– Bobby Rio, Pickup Artist
Make a connection
“A ‘ten’ woman hears that she’s beautiful all day long. Focus on her brain instead. A ‘five’ women will respond better to compliments about her looks.”
– Dr Wendy Walsh, Female Dating Expert
“Build some comfort with casual conversation then push into likes and dislikes of local areas or places. Figure out her passions and interests.”
– Pierce Rainy, Pickup Artist
As you can see, the advice from the Female Dating Experts and Pickup Artist’s is surprisingly similar!
So guys, quit bragging and talking too much unless you want to bore a woman to death! Remember what Bobby Rio said in the infographic – fun is the ultimate currency to seducing hot women.
If you want to learn more awesome tips from Bobby Rio, be sure to check out his Make Small Talk Sexy Video to learn the secrets of building attraction in conversation.
If you’re new to the pickup world, whats stopping you from learning? We understand some guys are a little hesitant to get the ball rolling.
If this sounds like you, why not check out our post on the 5 biggest excuses guys make stopping them from learning pickup.
This infographic was a lot of fun to put together and we hope you’ve learned a great deal from it. I would like to say a big THANK YOU to all the Female Dating Experts and Pickup Artist who have contributed to make this happen!
Let us know if you have any questions you’re dying to find out from the experts and we will get them answered in our next group interview!
And if you have any advice on how to talk to women please share your thoughts in the comments below!
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