You’re about to discover how to get a girlfriend by becoming her obvious choice, so the girl you like chooses you over all the other guys chasing her.
There’s no wishy washy bullsh*t here like “be more confident” or “talk to more girls”.
Just 20 proven steps you can start using right now to attract the girl you like and make her your girlfriend.
So if you’re sick of being single and want a girlfriend to wake up next to every morning then keep reading…
How To Get A Girlfriend Part 1. Meeting Girls
Stop trying to get a girlfriend. The first step to getting a girlfriend is to stop trying. Instead go into every new interaction you have with women expecting nothing in return. You’ll be surprised by how “not giving a shit” about the outcome makes girls chase you.
You see, most guys will do everything they can to please girls into liking them, but guys who couldn’t care less about impressing random girls stand out like a rose amongst thorns.
Women want a challenge, so when a guy comes along who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and disagree with women it shows he’s a guy worth talking to.
Enjoy every little interaction you have without any expectations. It’ll free your mind, free your confidence and free the conversation. By the time you’re done you’ll probably even forget to ask for her number!
Make her notice you. Wear items of clothing and jewellery that attract women and start conversations. Leather jackets, jewellery and tailored suits are a great place to start. You could even go as far as getting that tattoo you’ve always wanted 😉
Anything you can do to mix things up from how you present yourself will work wonders at attracting a whole new wave of female attention.
TOP TIP: Chances are you already have one special girl in mind and she’s someone you see on a regular basis like at work or in class.
The best way to get her attention is to actually start giving her much less attention by becoming less available. When you start ignoring people you wouldn’t believe how crazy they become!
If there’s a girl you’re texting everyday stop texting her and see what happens. If there’s a girl at work you often hang out with for lunch stop hanging out with her.
Start doing this today and without knowing why they’re doing it, women will start fighting for your attention and chasing you down.
BONUS: If you’re interested in a step-by-step system for getting a girlfriend, read our Review of The Girlfriend Activation System here (if you follow this system you WILL get a girlfriend).
Get ready to approach her. Before you approach her get rid of any other excuses that are stopping you in your tracks, for example, assuming she won’t be interested in you because you’ve never had a girlfriend.
Limiting beliefs like that will get you nowhere. If you’ve never had a girlfriend it’s because you simply haven’t met a girl who’s awesome enough for you yet! That’s why you should assume that every girl is interested in you because after all…it’s their loss if they can’t see it, not yours.
Here’s how to re-write some common negative excuses with positive reasons to TAKE ACTION!
“It’s no use talking to her, she won’t be interested in me” = “I should go talk to her she looks bored”
“She’s out of my league” = “I wonder if she’s cool enough to hang out with?”
This will help you approach girls you like with positivity and you’ll naturally become an extremely attractive guy to be around.
You ROCK. Never forget that.
Approach her with confidence. Now that you’re ready, it’s time to approach her. Smile, relax your body language and approach in a non confrontational way like you’d do when you’re in Wallmart asking a shelf stacker where the butter’s at.
As you talk to her watch that your vocal inflection isn’t too high and annoying like you need something, for example when a beggar says “excuse me, can you spare any change???” No one can stand needy requests from strangers they’ve just met, especially “excuse me”. That’s a big attraction killer right there.
Instead use a neutral or downwards vocal inflection. If you have a voice like Vin Diesel then you’re in luck 😉
As you’re talking to her make sure you keep smiling and lean a little backwards so you’re not all up in her grill. Hold eye contact and tell her why you simply had to come say hello.
The best way to do this is with a genuine compliment.
Give her a genuine compliment. Tell her exactly why you approached her and be as specific if you can. Use the first think you noticed about her that attracted you. Perhaps it’s her her cute smile, her dimples, or if you see her a lot maybe this time her hair is tied back for the first time.
If she’s a stranger and you meet her in the day, “Hey, I know this is random but I just walked past you and thought I have to go back and talk to that girl.”
But if you meet her in a bar there’s no need to mention any awkwardness. Just “Hello” or “Hi, I saw you from across the bar.” is enough 😉
Notice how all these compliments are sexual, not emotional. That’s because women want to feel overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered.
Bottling up your natural desire, rather than letting it spill out is counter productive because if she doesn’t think you’re sexually interested in her she’ll think you just want to be friends.
So if you seriously want to get a girlfriend then try to express your sexual attraction for girls more often. The risk is always worth it because if you fail to put your intentions out there you’ll go straight to the friend-zone.
The easiest way to get your intentions out there is to keep your interactions flirty from the get-go.
Tease her. Teasing is the easiest way to create sexual tension between you and a girl you like. Start teasing girls on a regular basis.
“Woah, woah…I didn’t know you were that type of girl”.
In the split second it takes for her to realise you’re just teasing (and not insulting her) she experiences a massive feeling of euphoric relief. That feeling is usually accompanied by laughter and maybe even a punch on the arm for you if you’re lucky 😉
The more you tease women and give them that little tension => relief “high”, the more they’ll become attracted, because when you fearlessly tease women it sends them a subconscious message that your genes rock.
It shows her you’re a not afraid of risking confrontation and that she can rely on you to stick to your beliefs and tell the truth. You’re a protector not a pushover.
Opportunities for teasing will happen naturally when you stick to your opinions and stop fake agreeing with women to please them all the time.
Always be looking out for cute things she says or does so you can point them out as being cute or funny.
Focus on her for conversation. Listen to her and make her the main subject of your conversation. You’ll create countless opportunities for teasing her and you’ll never be lost for conversation topics.
Girls like guys who listen to them so give her what she wants: Your ears.
When the focus is on her you leave much less room for error from your side, plus it gives you plenty of opportunities to tease her since she’ll hand deliver material to you on a silver platter.
Why did you choose this table? No, clearly you chose it because you saw me sitting here!
What brought you to the park? Oh, I thought you were rummaging for food in the bins!
Why do you hate dogs? She must be a cat lady. Assume she has twelve cats.
As soon as you disagree with something or find something she says cute you can say “I don’t think you and me are going to get along”, or something to that effect.
She’ll walk away from the conversation thinking “that guy was so much fun” when actually all she was doing was talking about herself. But remember, you mustn’t let her walk away until you get her number!
Get her number. When you feel like the conversation has reached it’s peak, make your excuses for leaving and get her number.
Even if you’re in a bar and she’s not going anywhere it’s always good to walk away for a bit to go join your mates and give her some space so she rejoin her friends and tell them all about you.
Chances are later in the night she’ll come find you again and you can take things further.
This is what’s known as the push-pull effect. It’s always important to pull back a little in any fresh interaction so she doesn’t get worried you’re never going to leave.
To get her number simply hand her your phone and tell her you’ll text her.
Part 2. Going On Dates
Ask her out on a date. Don’t try to achieve everything in one text. Build her curiosity, comfort and excitement about meeting up with you first, then ask her out on a date.
An easy way to naturally steer the conversation towards a date is to insinuate the idea of a date first.
Perhaps you meet her in a coffee shop and she’s a coffee addict? You can then mention some new boutique coffee shop that’s opened up in town.
Then simply put the two things together an suggest it’s time you go check out that new coffee shop together, e.g.
Texting has its own set of rules and etiquette, but here’s a few important pointers to keep you on track when you’re texting a girl you like:
– Send it and forget it – don’t overthink things. After you text her go about your day and don’t double text if she takes ages to reply.
– Keep it positive – if your text doesn’t make you smile or LOL then don’t send it.
– Be playful – texting is for flirting and setting up dates, not for deep or boring conversations. She wants a lover not a friend.
– End the conversation – Always end the conversation when it reaches its peak. It’s better to leave her on the edge of her seat than push things too far and risk becoming her text buddy.
For more texting tips I wrote a full article on how to text a girl without her losing interest here.
Where to go on a date. Choose a location that is relaxed, informal and has activities you can get physically intimate with. Avoid dinner dates for the first date. They’re awkward, expensive and way too formal.
If however she insists on dinner then make sure you either suggest splitting the bill, or say “I’ll get this and you can get the drinks after.” If she’s big on equal rights she won’t be able to say no! 😉
So what kind of place is good for a first date?
Zoos are great because you never run out of conversation topics and things to do. She’ll grab you when she sees a cute animal or a scary one and after you’ve seen dozens of different animals it feels like you’ve travelled the world together, so there’s this distorted sense of time like you’ve known each other for ages.
Get involved in feeding the animals, giraffes, elephants and goats. It’s a hell of a lot of fun and if she’s comfortable around you she’ll grab you a lot which feels amazing!
Other great locations for intimacy include Hookah bars, bars in general, arcades and ten pin bowling.
Cinema is ok for a second date but not for a first date. You can’t talk, it’s awkward as f*ck and pretty tormenting because all you can think about is making a move and if nothing’s happened by the time the credits roll you walk out feeling like a lead balloon.
On the date start by complimenting her. Women can spend hours choosing a dress, putting on make up and doing their hair for the first date. She’s done this all for you don’t forget to show your appreciation with an honest compliment.
“Wow…you look amazing”.
Have high expectations. Having high expectations of people communicates to them that you are high status and not a pushover. This is incredibly attractive to women because it shows her you respect and love yourself. You are sure of yourself and adamant about getting what you want.
A great way to reveal this attractive trait is to call her out if she’s late for the date, for example:
She’ll respect you more for it and make a mental note to never do it again. She’ll probably even make up for her lateness with a kiss later!
A high value male will also be true a gentleman and treat a lady like a lady and be respectful of others. Help her sit down, open doors and overdo it in a chivalrous way. Show you care about her and others by tipping waiters or bar staff.
To get respect you must earn respect.
Conversation topics to avoid on the date. Avoid these 7 conversation topics on the date at all costs. The main reason these 7 topics are so destructive is because they kill the mood and spark debate not chemistry.
Talking about exes or girls who’ve slipped through your fingers – If you’re negative about past experiences with women you’ll sound bitter. If you’re positive you’ll sound like you’re still pining for someone. In either case it’s best you avoid talk of “lovers lost” completely.
Bragging about how rich you are – Only gold diggers want to know how many cars you have. Quality women will see bragging for what it is: a shallow way of proving yourself to please people into liking you.
Complaints about your job – Any talk of work is usually boring and negative. Oh and keep any resentment for your job to yourself. No-one wants to hear it.
Religion – Don’t go there unless your only objective is to become a celibate monk.
Money – Save it for the bank. Instead of money talk about your goals in life.
Politics – Politics and hot topics lead to heated discussion and debates. Do you want to debate and fall out or do you want to gyrate and make out? See what I did there? 😉
Negative and toxic relationships – Again, don’t bring drama out with you on the date, leave talk of toxic relationships in the trash can where they belong.
“Where do you see this going?” – First dates aren’t about signing contracts and locking down the future terms of your relationship. They’re about living in the moment, so save questions that put her in an awkward position like “what are you looking for?”.
Make her like you by being yourself. You may not realise this but the reason you’ve been stuck with how to get a girlfriend is because you are not yourself around the women you’re attracted to.
let me repeat that:
You are not yourself around the women you’re attracted to.
We’ve addressed a lot of things that turn women off and one of the biggest “A-HA!” moments you’ve probably had whilst reading this article is that you’ve always been trying to please women into liking you.
You’ve avoided confrontation, you’ve avoided teasing and you have never felt comfortable about expressing your true burning sexual desire for the girls you’re attracted to.
Now that you finally understand this the seas will part, water will turn into wine and you will walk on water through the leggy gates of heaven and into the land of milk and honey!
Flirt with her physically. Once you stop worrying about the outcome with every girl you meet, relax and actually have some fun, physical flirting will start happening naturally!
Earlier I recommended date locations that organically create opportunities for physical contact.
If you’re worried about a girl’s reaction to you touching her, start with these baby steps:
– Brush something out of her hair but purposefully graze her neck with the back of your hand
– If you’re sitting next to her, rest your hand next to her nearest leg and touch her outer thigh with your little finger
– High five her and lock fingers for a split second then release her
– Playfully hit her on the arm or lightly push her away from you whenever she teases you
If her reaction is positive you can increase the time you touch her, if her response is negative then pull away and try again later.
You’ll know she’s comfortable about physical contact when she starts giving it back to you, like leaning on your arm, grabbing your hand, playfully pushing you, etc.
These are all clear signs she’s both comfortable around you and most importantly… attracted!
Once you’re damn sure she’s flirting back it’s time to seal the deal and release all the sexual tension with a kiss.
Part 3. Closing The Deal
Make a move and kiss her. Most girls will expect you to make the first move, so as soon as you start reading the signs she’s into you it’s your job to make a move and kiss her.
Here are some other signs to look for just to be sure you won’t get rejected when you make your move:
– She plays with her hair when she’s talking to you
– She keeps looking at your lips
– She laughs at all your jokes (even if they’re not funny)
– She leans in closely to hear you speak, rather than you leaning into her
Trust me, these are all bright green lights she wants you to kiss her!
When you make your move don’t force it, let it happen when there’s a brief pause in the conversation and you’re both gazing into each others eyes.
The way to know when the moment is right is when you’re both smiling, you’re in very close proximity to each other (maybe even already touching) and her eyes quickly dart down from your eyes to your lips.
Even if she rejects you the first time she’ll respect you for having the balls to try and will probably accept your advances the second time you try.
That’s the thing, a lot of guys give up after getting rejected the first time. This is a classic rookie mistake because she probably did want to kiss you but you either read the moment wrong and forced it, she wasn’t prepared and it took her by surprise or she felt uncomfortable about kissing in public.
Whatever the case you’ll get better at reading the situation the more times you try.
Do not try to lock down another date. At the end of first date kiss her on the cheek and say “tonight was fun, we should do it again sometime”.
Keep her hooked by making her wonder what you mean by “sometime”.
Women want a challenge just as much as we do, so don’t give too much away, especially in the early stages of dating, otherwise you’ll kill the thrill of the chase and she’ll quickly lose interest.
Keep her hooked between dates. Keep her hooked between dates by not always being available, making her wonder about you and flirting with the future.
When you’re too available and text her back immediately every time it’ll make her think you have nothing else going on in your life.
Although she may appear upset or pissed at you she secretly does not want you to put her first, especially when you are only “sort of dating” and not invested emotionally in a relationship yet, e.g.
The less available you are, the more curious she’ll get and rather than answering a girl’s questions “matter of fact-ly” you should aim to respond in a playful way that keeps her curious about you, e.g.
The more you keep her wondering about you the more excited she will be about going on another date with you.
This is exactly how to get a girl totally and utterly obsessed with you.
By remaining jokey and essentially disqualifying yourself from anything serious you will keep her wondering about you:
Because expressing your emotional attachment to a girl too early on is a sure fire way to get friend-zoned.
Don’t get me wrong, It’s ok tell a girl you love her and miss her when you’re finally together, but NEVER in the early stages of dating.
That’s because women will run a mile if they sense you are more emotionally attached to them than they are to you.
The way to show a girl how much you appreciate her – without revealing your emotions and scaring her away – is to instead show your sexual appreciation for her.
I miss you = Can’t stop thinking about how hot you looked in that black dress. What delightful number do you plan to wear on our next encounter?
I can’t stop thinking about you = Is it weird that a the back of a Renault Megan just made me think about how amazing your bum looked last night?
I want to see you again soon = So when am I going to reunited with your sexy ass? Friday is looking good
I like you = You impressed me last night to the point where I’d actually consider sharing needles with you in my crack den.
I love you = I think I could have fun in HELL with you
For more tips on texting a girl between dates check out this article I wrote that covers everything in full detail.
Make it official. When you’re dating a girl you really like, it’s easy to fall into the “let’s solidify things” trap and try to verbally make things official.
Here’s how it works:
You start to like a girl, so you want to spend more time with her. As your feelings grow for her, so too does your attachment to that future with her.
You really want to make her your girlfriend, so much so, in fact, that you start to get nervous and insecure around her. And you start to feel a little possessive.
And you start looking for ways to “lock down” the future. You try to get her to commit to plans… you subtly hint at the strength of your feelings for her… maybe you even come out and ask her how she feels about you.
I probably don’t need to tell you that NONE of this is attractive to a girl.
Yet it’s weird, because when you like a girl, it feels very natural to do this stuff.
So what’s the solution?
Well, it’s simple, but paradoxical.
When you’re with her, you focus on having as MUCH fun as you can while you’re together… and NOT trying to confirm anything or lock anything down.
Think about it: if you have tons of fun the first time you hang out with someone… wouldn’t you want to see them again?
And if it just kept going like that – where you had a great time every time you hung out – wouldn’t it be easy to end up in a relationship with them?
But if they were a nervous wreck the whole time, and tried to PUSH you into spending more time with them… the only way you’d do it would be out of guilt.
And sorry to say it, but guilt doesn’t get girlfriends.
So always remember to live in the moment and focus on smiling, and putting a smile on her face, when you’re together.
You can flirt with the idea of future meet-ups but don’t try to lock her down when you’re with her. Simply add the word “sometime” to keep it open ended.
“we should totally rent motorbikes and ride down to that secret beach sometime”.
After you’ve been on a few dates, becoming boyfriend and girlfriend should come naturally. Never force it.
Let your confidence grow naturally with experience. Before you go out and use this guide to get the girlfriend of your dreams, there is one more important thing I need to mention about how to naturally develop confidence.
It’s no secret that confidence is like crack cocaine to women.
That’s why I must urge you to take action and put everything you’ve just read into practice, because your confidence will develop naturally after you start:
– Assuming every girl is interested in you
– Standing up for yourself
– Taking risks
– …And unleashing your sexual desire more
The Next Step (BONUS VIDEO)
If you’re sitting comfortably and have a pair of headphones at hand you’ll love this bonus video we put together for you.
In the video below you’ll discover the 3 steps a woman goes through when she falls in love with a man.
Once you know these 3 steps it’s pretty easy to make any girl obsess over you:
(Knowing these secrets will give you a very unfair advantage over the competition.)
Pretty cool right?
Wrapping it up
It was incredibly fun putting this “how to get a girlfriend” guide together. I hope you get a lot of value from it and use it to get the girlfriend of your dreams.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, so if you’re serious about getting a girlfriend you have to get your priorities right because your main concern should not be about how you desperately need a girlfriend.
You must commit yourself to something far, FAR more important than that:
Because as soon as you start putting yourself first and stop putting other people on a pedestal, stop letting people cross the line with you and stop giving a sh*t about what others think, the girls you desire will become naturally drawn to you.
You’ll start giving off the vibe that you don’t need women to make your life complete. You’ll take more risks, find approaching and talking to girls less daunting and won’t worry about the consequences.
You’ll begin to understand that getting a girlfriend is not the most important thing in the world, in fact it’s more like an added bonus to your already awesome life.
Women are drawn to people who believe in themselves. Who know what they want. Who live a life they are proud of and don’t let others dictate their actions and decisions.
None of this requires you to become an entirely different person.
All it requires is knowing who you are, what you want and going after it.
That’s how you get ahead in life and that’s how to get a girlfriend.