Being ghosted hurts, especially if it’s by someone you really like.
Here’s how to deal with being ghosted and the exact steps (and texts) you need to either:
Let them go, start dating other people, and never text them again
Get them texting back (3 copy-paste texts show you how!)
Or… confront the ghoster, get closure, and move on
There are 6 steps to survival, and 3 texts that trigger instant replies.
These copy-paste texts trigger fear of loss, make ghosters apologise and start texting you back with new found desire.
So if you want to get over being ghosted, or even get a second chance at turning things around, then keep reading…
Here’s how to deal with being ghosted step by step
Starting with positive mindset and ending with what to do next, this 6-step survival guide gives you everything you need to handle being ghosted.
I’ll give you the exact texts to bring a ghoster back from the dead later, but first let’s start by confronting the pain of being ghosted, because acceptance and healing is the first important step towards recovery.
#1: Get over the pain of being ghosted
Ghosting hurts, even more so if you’ve invested hopes and dreams of sharing a future with that person.
When you’ve already imagined someone as your girlfriend or boyfriend, and they suddenly ghost you out of nowhere, it abruptly plunges those hopes and dreams into agonizing uncertainty.
Nobody likes their dreams getting shattered. To taste something so good and have it so suddenly spirited away.
But it’s NOT over yet!
Getting ghosted is just an inevitable part of texting. It’s as common as dirt, and you’ve probably unintentionally ghosted countless numbers of people too.
The ghoster in question probably just got distracted or put off replying, waited too long, and now feels super awkward about texting you back.
Think of it as a simple blip in your love story that you’ll look back on and chuckle about, because you should have never been worried about in the first place.
So rather than wallowing in pain, blaming yourself, or losing sleep over someone “important” who hasn’t texted back…
Instead – stay calm, take a deep breath and remember: It’s not over yet!
Until you get closure… until they specifically TELL YOU they’re no longer interested, you’ve still got a chance.
Therefore why not make the most of that chance and turn your pain into something productive?
Use this time to figure out what you’re going to do next, how you might re-engage a couple days later if they don’t reply first, what fun things you’re going to do with your friends in the meantime, and what cool posts or stories you can stick up on your Instagram to show the ghoster you’re unaffected, living life, and are always ready to move on and quickly get back out there if they make the silly mistake of never hitting you back with a reply.
And if it DOES turn out that they were indeed trying to distance themselves from you and end whatever relationship you had, feel fortunate that you didn’t invest any more of your time in someone who wasn’t reciprocating the same feelings towards you.
You just happened to be dealing with someone who was not as emotionally mature as you, couldn’t be honest with you, and never even deserved one moment of your attention in the first place.
But like I said earlier…
The person in question probably just got distracted or put off replying, waited too long, and now feels super awkward about replying to you after making you wait so long.
That’s why you should…
#2: Start thinking positively (it’s not your fault)
The next step to dealing with ghosting is to stop thinking negatively or blaming yourself and start thinking positively.
Because you’ll be surprised to learn that when someone ghosts you it usually has nothing to do with you. It’s not your fault.
If it’s been less than 24 hours, then there are all sorts of trivial reasons why this person might be ghosting you.
Perhaps they got distracted, perhaps they’re super busy with work, perhaps they just need more time to think up a reply…
Whatever the case, we’ve laid out the most common reasons why here, but it’s important you understand that most reasons WHY people ghost usually have nothing to do with you.
They might just be having a bad day and are feeling down. Everyone goes through swings of emotions throughout their day.
Sometimes you simply catch someone in the wrong mood, and they put off replying until they’re in a more positive frame of mind to text you back.
It’s hardly like that one silly cat meme you sent has destroyed their life, made them hate you and it’s all your fault…
“If only I’d sent the cute puppy one instead!! What the hell was I thinking??!”
Stupid texts are forgivable and they’re never that bad, so stop over analysing things.
You are not the only thing going on in their life. You are not the single source of their happiness or pain.
I mean, when it rains do you think you’re responsible for the downpour? Do you think it’s your job to fix it? Or do you accept the fact the storm will pass and you can get on with something else until does? People’s mood swings are no different.
Whenever you’re getting ghosted always remember:
It’s just a passing storm system. Forget about it and re-engage the person a couple of days later with a funny meme or gif that resets the conversation and has NOTHING to do with the previous conversation string.
Before we get to the next part on how to deal with the person ghosting you, let’s ramp up the positive vibes, because there are three VERY compelling reasons why you should stay positive whenever you’re being ghosted:
Reason A: They might not want to appear too keen!
YES! They might really like you.
Just like you’ll try to play it cool with a person you really like, and wait an hour or two to respond, they might be doing the exact same thing.
No one wants to appear desperate or needy, because most people understand neediness is the ultimate attraction killer.
So wait for then to choose the “right time” to message you back and don’t change their mind by sending a needy double-text in between!
DON’T DO IT! 😉
Reason B: They’re testing you.
It’s in a person’s best interest to weed out low quality suitors who can’t handle ghosting.
So “yes” – you guessed it – people will purposefully ghost you just to see how you deal with it!
Pass their test by waiting it out.
Reason C: You asked the person out for the first time.
If it’s the first time you asked them out or suggested meeting up, then give them time to make up their mind!
They may need to check their schedule or decide if they’re ready to keen on that particular date idea or not.
And if they don’t get back to you, simply try to make them more excited about the *idea* of meeting you before you ask next time.
As you can see, there are plenty of reasons to stay positive, even when you’ve been ghosted for hours, so now that you’re feeling a little better about things, let’s move onto step 3 which is…
#3: Figure out if this person is worth pursuing
This is the point you need to figure out whether the person ghosting you is still worth your time or not.
Have you been ghosted by them often, or is this something new?
Have you been flat out ghosted (it’s been over a week), or has it only been hours or a couple of days?
People will phase a relationship out with ghosting, so if this isn’t the first time it’s happened then this is the point you may need to face reality, cut your losses and move on.
But if this is only the first of second time you’ve been ghosted, you’re still very much in the running to turn things around and get back on track!
Take a moment to step back and decide how you are going to continue…
Will you give them one last chance, or will you let it go and move on?
#4: Wait 48 hours to see if they get back in touch
Whatever you decide to do, I recommend you first wait at least 48 hours to see if they get back in touch.
But if they don’t respond, either:
A) Let it go, don’t text them again, and move on
B) Confront them, get closure, and move on
C) Send a funny re-opener message (to reset the conversation)
If you decide to go with option (A), then open up your favourite dating apps, get back out there and start dating other people.
Don’t think it’s “unfair” on the ghoster to move on so quickly.
If they’re flat out ghosting you, then you owe them NOTHING.
The only person you owe is yourself. You owe it to yourself to get back out there and find someone better who truly values your attention.
And believe me… once you start flirting with other people… you’ll forget about this person in no time.
If you choose option (B) and decide to confront the ghoster, I recommend you send a text that subtly shows the ghoster you have no f*cks left to give and are more willing to walk away than they thought.
Not only will this give you a huge boost of self-esteem, but it will take them by surprise and knock their ego, especially if they think you’re way too into them to just cut ties and walk.
Done correctly, this text will trigger fear of loss, and the ghoster may even apologise and start texting you with a new found desire and interest.
Whatever happens, it at least gives you the last word, a sense of closure, and leaves you walking away with your head held high.
Here’s a couple of great examples of the kind of texts that’ll trigger fear of loss:
Hey [name], seems you’re no longer interested. It was a pleasure to meet [their name] who loves [something they love] and hates [something they hates]. good luck finding your [ prince / princess]. I bid you farewell
And a slightly shorter one:
Getting the vibe you’re not into this anymore. Good luck finding your [prince / princess] and I’ll see you around dork
And if they DO text back grovelling… avoid these mistakes moving forward, to decrease your chances of getting ghosted again, and remember…
It is now YOUR choice if you want to keep them around.
The final option – option (C) – is best suited if you feel they’re worth giving the benefit of the doubt, because they haven’t ghosted before, i.e. they may have genuinely just gotten distracted or had a bad couple of days dealing with something that was completely not your fault and out of your control.
So if you want to let it slide, relieve their guilt of ghosting you, and give them a clean slate to get back in touch…
Send them a funny meme or gif related to a previous inside joke you two have had, with a short text below that resets the conversation in a “LOL filled way”…
Send this proven multiple choice text that myself and my students have used countless times to get serial ghosters crawling out of the woodwork:
I’ve thought of 3 reasons why you’re not texting back…A) you met [prince charming / a disney princess] and are now living happily ever after… B) you got abducted by aliens, need my rocket but are too embarrassed to ask… C) you are just teasing me because you wanted to see how much effort I will put in to writing this crazy message to you. Which one is it? A, B or C
Send it. Forget it. Get on with your day…
and after they text back, it’s VERY important you…
#5: Always anticipate ghosting moving forward
In the future, the best way to deal with ghosting is to always anticipate it.
Anticipating it before it happens means you can always approach it with a positive mindset, knowing it’s just a common part of texting that can easily be turned around with:
Humour + carefreeness + willingness to walk away.
The texts I gave you above mixed those three things perfectly, so make sure you copy and paste them to your notepad so you can stop worrying about it and start embracing it!
Now you will chuckle whenever it happens, because you know what?
It’s no big deal. It’s just part of the game.
And if you want to play the game you have to accept that it’s always going to happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Well actually… there is something you can do about it, you can:
A) Use my texts to get a ghoster texting back
B) Complete the final step below to decrease your chances of getting ghosted again…
#6: Learn from your mistakes to decrease the chance of being ghosted again
Here are a few quick fixes to your texting habits that’ll decrease your chances of being ghosted in the future:
DON’T ask someone out when they’re in a bad mood. End the conversation and re-engage them another day.
DON’T text someone when you’re in a bad mood. You will unintentionally project your negativity on them, and they will naturally avoid you.
DON’T text back immediately every single time, or text someone every day. You’ll come across needy, too available, and kill their attraction for you fast.
DON’T double text within 48 hours. Wait it out if they’ve stopped texting back and follow the steps in this article.
DON’T text someone just to chat when you’re bored. Inject a bit of flirting or set up a date. The more you “just chat” the more you slip into the friend-zone.
DON’T guilt trip someone when they ghost you or cancel a date. They will naturally avoid engaging you in conversation if you’re always guilt tripping.
DON’T confess your feelings, tell the person you really like them, or reveal any feelings of attachment over text. Save that for when you’re actually in a relationship, never do it before.
DON’T ask boring questions like “wyd?”, “how are you?”, what you up to?”. These questions don’t motivate people to reply and will often get you left on “read”.
DON’T discuss relationship terms over text. It’s awkward, immature, and if the other person is not as equally invested in you, they will either ghost you or friend-zone you.
For more tips on how to avoid being ghosted check out our article on all the texting mistakes to avoid here.
So to summarise everything…
Tips to handle being ghosted
1. Get over the pain of being ghosted
Think of it as a simple blip in your love story that you’ll look back on and chuckle about, because you should have never been worried about in the first place. stay calm, take a deep breath and remember: It’s not over yet!
2. Start thinking positively (it’s not your fault)
The next step to dealing with ghosting is to stop thinking negatively or blaming yourself and start thinking positively. If it’s been less than 24 hours, then there are all sorts of trivial reasons why this person might be ghosting you.
3. Figure out if this person is worth pursuing
People will phase a relationship out with ghosting, so if this isn’t the first time it’s happened then this is the point you may need to face reality, cut your losses and move on. Take a moment to step back and decide how you are going to continue.
4. Wait 48 hours to see if they get back in touch
Whatever you decide to do, wait at least 48 hours to see if they get back in touch. If they don’t respond, either: Let it go, don’t text them again, and move on. Confront them, get closure, and move on. Or try one last time by sending a funny re-opener message (to reset the conversation). If they don’t reply again, respect their boundaries and move on.
5. Always anticipate ghosting in the future
Anticipating it before it happens means you can always approach it with a positive mindset, knowing it’s just a common part of texting that can easily be turned around.
6. Learn from your mistakes. To decrease the chance of being ghosted again
There are a number of quick fixes to your texting habits that’ll decrease your chances of being ghosted in the future. Eg. don’t text or ask someone out when they’re in a bad mood, don’t text back immediately every single time, don’t double text within 48 hours, and don’t guilt trip someone when they ghost you or cancel a date.
Wrapping it up
I hope this article helped you get over the pain of getting ghosted, got you thinking positively, and helped you figure out how to deal with the person ghosting you in the best possible way.
BONUS: Discover the exact texts you need to get her responding with Options Messaging System – our flagship texting product which has already helped over 36,000 guys turn things around with a girl who’s ghosting them.
But if you do decide to let it go and move forward, then I hope you don’t wait around too long, get back out there and meet someone amazing!
Remember to copy and paste the “ghostbuster texts” for future use and stay positive next time you’re being ghosted because there’s always a chance to turn it around OR meet someone much better after moving on.